In the pursuit of happiness….

October 14, 2009


Being happy with current state would be belying with the very thought of us being human. Ostensibly Complacency is a stage desired by every mortal. .Complacency brings with it something called gaiety. We do have short periods of this amazing feeling. But soon it fazes out. Very nature of human beings denies them this very basic pleasure.

Desires, Dreams and aspirations, leaves us with very little to be happy about. Though, Otherwise Mantras of all motivational Gurus, these words are bad guys for a blithe life. Goals of our life which we always strive for, love we always quench for, and desires to grab all those objects of pleasure; the satiating desire to achieve these some things we don’t have make our life miserable. Moreover, available Bibles of Self help with pictures of Big smile wearing Guys telling you that these thing are possible and your life is pathetic makes your life a bit more pathetic.

All those examples of people who have done it, Paradigms showing  picture perfect lives of people, make us feel  small and our lives  shabby.

The constant mantras, telling every thing is possible and attainable. Leaves us cribbing for what we are unable to achieve, forgetting  the things we have and for which we can be happy.

But Is n’t that’s what  the life is all about? Setting up small goals, pursuing them, and being happy after achieving them. And going  on and on and on like this?

So Is that for what we have come in life. Working like machines for good body, good health , good lifestyle, good woman/man……and turn into a crap some day.

A feeling of worthlessness and detachments starts creeeping in when we think on very purpose of  what we generally strive for. All those things are so shallow from inside. At a time what feels like big palace, feels nothing more than an arrangement of brick and mortar after it comes to our hand.

Perhaps that’s the thing that caused people like Buddha and Vivekananda, to search for the eternal joy. A feeling of trance, that is ecstatic and answers it all. A feeling for which saints and intellects bore the hardships.

We very mortals, entangled by our desires for physical things can only desires for this cosmic experience. We can just  be happy of setting up goals and striving for them and setting some new goals again.

But that joy that comes after achieving that goal. Isn’t that a great feeling.  A innocent smile and hug of our children is eternal joy. I am sure in search of MOKSHA people must be missing these small joys


Inclusive growth for all……..

July 5, 2009

overloaded_train_hanging_indiaVikram Adiga has painfully stripped India in his Booker winning novel “The White Tiger”.He has used sarcasm and burlesque to shred Indians of their dream of India Shining. The White tiger is a painful book for every Indian……Painful because it elaborately and pictorially showcase the dark side of India with vivid description of anguish and misery.

It pains a lot but it is truth. We have a great divide here in India. One India which is splurging in CCD’s and Domino’s , on the wings of new found growth and globalization. And than there is another India which is still struggling for nutrition. We have a great divide. We need a growth that is more inclusive.

How is it possible to make 125million people halcyon and happy and rich and content. We are 125 million. ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIFE ………goddamn million.

Just imagine that all of them grow at a good phase. Tomorrow everyone is having a CAR…………but imagine where the fuel will come from and how will expand our lands for those cars and till how long our resources will last.

Have i gone insane or what???  I think most of the people will think that and will counter me that every one has right in growth of our country.

So where the problem lies…

If you recall …………..10 Years back ..The biggest problem our country used to be our population. But thanks to Globalization…It is not now… Now we flaunt our Gargantuan population as We have escaped recession on back of local demand generated by this HUGE population. We will keep on producing children and very fast pace and So thankfully we will be youngest country after 50 years…. We grew because of what we thought was our curse. OUR POPULATION.

Yes we grew.. We are growing …. And will grow..

10% growth..We will grow .. We all will be rich.. We all will be having cars, AC’s,……………nd every goddamn available thing…  Only thing that will be exhausted will be our resources…….Or the resources of EARTH.

I mean the idea is there is a pace for everything….We should grow slow so that resources can sustain..

Growing slow also applies for the population as well …Growth of which has been forgotten by government in wake of huge GDP and growth India is getting.

But the issue is how long can we sustain… And if INCLUSIVENESS is attained than what.

How will we have roads for 125 million Indians to travel in a car owned by him.

How will we contain it???

125 million……………………………….and growing………

Killer Capitalism..

August 28, 2008

Capitalism…was always a fairytale for India.Atleast for people of x generation who always dreamt of AMERICAN lifestyle where everything is fast,beautiful and glamourous.A system which was supposed to be free from all SARKARI corruption.A system with everything RIGHT.X generation considered Nehruvian socialism as the chain that was stopping growth of India.I was part of this x generation who believed in this fairytale too.I still believe in human urge to grow which lays the founding stone of capitalism.Basic of capitalism is human urge which always wants to spread, acquire and grow.This urge is the root cause of exploits of capitalism as well.

Capitalism has delivered what it promised.It has delivered fast cars,BIG and astonishingly beautiful structures and HEAVY Pockets.Everyone seems to be happy.Powered by booming economy and rising share market,everyone is rising on ecstastic wave of power.

But can everything be that straight?

It cant be and it isn’t.

Yesterday i saw the reason why Nehru abhored Capitalism and the reason he came up with something called mixed economy.Yesterday i happened to visit a Private hospital in my city to see a known person from my village who was admitted there.

The hospital is airy and beautifully maintained. This hospital is one of the best in the city.Yet another gift of Capitalism.I went to the general ward to meet the person.He is a poor farmer who owns around 2 acre land.His annual income would be  hardly 50000/-.He was suffering from some disease which i could not read and pronounce from the prescription.But what i was shocked with was the tests that he had undergone since coming there.He showed me a bill of 20000/- which he had already paid and there was yet more to come.

I asked the reason of not going to the government hospital and his wife spoke with grim voice.She said that she had initially taken him to government hospital but for two days no one took care.His condition was getting bad day by day.So he was brought here.Family has taken loan of 25000/- from some money lander in the village.I knew a Compounder there and asked him about the patient.

He looked at him and told me that he will be allright in few days. What came next was infact more shocking.He told me that the patient was not serious and all the tests done on him were done in order to make money only.That means that all of the tests were not required.

Was i shocked? Not actually as it happens everyday.

But what striked me was why?And the answer came from the compounder itself.He said that all these fake tests are necessary in order to maintain huge expenditure that is required to run that BIG hospital with BIG staff and its bright corridors.Offcourse all that comes for a cost.

So everyone pays for that.So now we are living in a world where we pay for packaging and not for real product.Where the structures of Capitalism has started a vicious cycle of exploitation which no one of us is able to break.Being part of that vicious cycle we exploit someone else and the cycle of exploitation goes on.

The doctor who started that big hospital in my small town was also prey of this vicious cycle .He was somewhere trapped in this chain.No he is no inhuman or cheat.But he has to be like that in order to make his hospital survive.

That’s capitalism for you folks………..Or KILLER CAPITALISM as i would like to label it.

Power elates…..YEAH IT DOES!!!

June 14, 2008

Yesterday,was the first day when i did something relevant in my short tenure of internship with the NGO named IBTADA.The days before this day in office were bewildering for me.

I had heard so much about IBTADA in alleviating poverty and empowering woman through microfinance, but here i could not understood how things were going on.Very laid back attitude of staff and people.Very austere people were against my idea of meeting people who would talk big about their endeavours in removing poverty.At a point i started feeling that i was either in a wrong place or all the claims made by this organization were fake.

But my visit to DADAR changed it all. I was asked to visit a meeting of self help group to document a case study about some women who were able to get there agriculture land back from the clutches of money landers.I was asked to visit a woman called PANCHO.I was afraid and confused.I mean how could i go and talk to some woman specially in  a village whom i had never met before.But our sir saved me by saying that one of institution’s representative would be there.So after initial dilema i went there.

Alwar is a beautiful city and journey to village on my bike when sky was showring drizzles on me was PLAINLY……. BEAUTIFUL.Dadar was no different from an ordinary village inspite of being close to the city, situating in National capital region, and on Four lane state highway with all its muddy roads,naked children and a mix of kuchha pukka houses.

Anyways when i reached there i saw around twelve woman in colourful dresses sitting around two men who were managing their accounts in a beautiful shade that was barely 4 feet high in front of a two room house .One of the man invited me to sit next to him.They were knowing about my visit.I was introduced and asked to hurry up as it was 4.30 and all women were getting late to meet there buffaloes and goats, offcourse for milching them.

So I started asking my question on how,when and where.Women were answering me.But there was a voice which was manly,loud and knowing it all types. Okey so this was Pancho.Head woman who was responsible for curbing the local politics which generally stops SHG’s even before they start. Pancho, smoking beedi answered when any woman got confused in answering.She was confident and hopeful.Her energy,vigour and hope was the driving factor.Her stature and authority was the confidance that had helped group formation and maintainance of group which later took a  loan of one lakh that was used by 8 women of the group to get their land worth Rs 12 lakhs back.

Her confidance and vigor made me realize the power that she has got.The power which transformed a scheduled caste widow named PANCHO to elate herself and elate her group of women.This power was provided to her by IBTADA by providing her exposure and training to start the group.

Now i realized why people back at IBTADA were laid back…because they had empowered woman like PANCHO who were taking care of herself and her group.

This is the true POWER and it reallly elates.

Read my case study at

Visit IBTADA at

An idea can change so many lives!!!

May 28, 2008

How many times have you thought of changing someone’s lives? I can bet the hardest of souls amongst us must have thought of changing someone’s live sometime.A withered old beggar lady or a construction worker with new born baby. Remember the outburst of desire at that particular moment that your heart was swayed with. You wanted to do something for them.Something that can change their lives.

But that something never happened. So here you are. Or should i say here we are. Living our lives with guilt of not doing anything for those whom we saw, felt for and left for their desitinies to decide for them.After all we are not angels,Neither we are Some Bill gate’s or even TATA’s.We are just another human beings fighting with day to day problems of our lives.

Someone must have faced this problem aswell.But he didnt stop there.He deviced an idea.An idea which is changing so many lives.And the idea was……. . A platform where those who feel ,can act as well.This website provides you platform to actually give small loans or help to a particular idividual in any part of the world.

Imagine a amount which can buy you a trouser here can help someone start a living in another part of of world. 10 dollars which accounts for meal of a person in a restaurant in london can help some one in Ghana to start his small business.Amazing idea.and amazing platform…………That is kiva.

Visit and see how an idea can really change lives.

Love is not love…………BLAH BLAH BLAH!!

May 21, 2008

“love is not love which alters when its alterations find”

6 pegs in and i am a crazy……..whatever!!! Actually i am….OOPS sorry no i am not generally insane but i am insane now because i am 6 pegs inn!!

And a guy who is 6 pegs in(sorry i am not talking about TANKIES) can translate a Shakespeare  quote like that only.This happened to me acutally 7 years back when a guy smoking a beedi and desi daru came up with this quote to me.I was shocked than.And i am shocked now as well as i am listening this beautful quote from a dumb friend of mine who is also six pegs down.

I dunno what Mr shakespeare had in mind while creating this line but it is kind of ridiculous in my current state or Should i say my friends current state of mind.Being dumped by his six years old girlfriend can make you insane.But love is all about being insane or atleast a preparation for being ready to be insane.

After being insane for literally six years now my friend is finally dumped.So his love found her alterations.That means their love was not love .Than what is love.

99% of loves that i have been witnessed to have been love of this kind only.Than what Mr shakespear thought of while writing this sonnet.

WHATEVER………..god bless my friend!!!

Hooked to the window to the world!!!

May 20, 2008

I have become a couch potato. I was lazy since my birth but these vacations have helped me realise the heights of laziness that i have achieved.

And adding to my lazziness is this menace called INTERNET. Ever since i discovered this invention by humankind……..I am hooked to it.Nothing fascinates me as this little wonder.Power to reach anywhere anytime gives me some kinkish sense of power. And what else a person who wants to roam around by still remaining on his couch may want.


Children of lesser GOD!

May 11, 2008

Torn, festering and dust laden robe, a cloth on flanks and face brimming with naivety.No twinge or sense of divestiture in eyes. Devotion for his job. And a perky grin when being teased.This is Chotu for you.

Chotu may be a help in your’s or your neighbour’s abode, Chotu may be working at chai ki thadi in vicinity of your office or in your neighborhood dhaba.

Chotu is incognito of any child worker whom we watch everyday. Chotu serves us every day. Chotu is responsible for the paltry cost of keeping our house clean, and cutting chai that we sip and even food we have in these dhabas. Chotu makes sure that the cost of these things doesn’t escalate by keeping his wages low.

 Chotu is exploited by me, you and everyone daily. Bright fireworks that bring sheen on face of our kids have toil of some chotu behind it. Chotu works for a meager food ,a meager salary or sometimes just to fulfill debt that has been taken  by his parents.

Chotu works hard. He works when children of his age play and study. Chotu takes orders from children of his own age. Chotu serves all delicacies which he just dreams of.

Chotu……………….. He must be a child of some lesser god.A god who was lesser than god of us all who are blessed. Who have lives that are less difficult than his. Chotu’s only fault is taking birth in a family which is poor and a country where being poor is a curse.He will never realize his loss.And even if he does he cant help it out.

He is beaten, brawled and sometimes raped. He has a future of turning up into HIV positive, a grown less paid worker or into a pickpocket.

He is living a life that promises of being more miserable every day.

We take services of chotu every day.No we are not cruel.We empathize with him.We empathizes with him by asking him about his life and discussing him in our elite circles. We empathizes with him by writing articles about him and getting accolades for our touching articles.

And we empathize with him by keeping him in his job. After all he wont have anything to eat we do not take his services.

After all that is all what we can do. There are government agencies, NGO’S and people working for them. If they cant help them how can we.

That’s our escape from chotu’s life.Our soul which used to pain initially looking at chotu has stopped itching now. After all how many times can it itch in a day. We are happy in our busy lives pampering our children with all the beautiful toys made by some Chotu.

Its time for being less hypocrite. Its time to think about all the chotus. Its time to not just think. If we really want these children of lesser god to live their childhood we will have to be less hypocrite.We will need to discard all the services where childworkers are used.

We have to revive and redesign our book of ethics. We will have to act .And we will have to be honest in our endeavor to give a second chance to these children of lesser god